Why Young Voices Matter: My Passion for Working with Young Adolescence

By Amanda Kaliner, LPC

Middle schoolers often get a bad reputation. They’re described as awkward, moody, and

unpredictable. As a caregiver in any role, whether it be as a parent, doctor, therapist, or teacher,

this time in a child’s life can seem intimidating. While yes, there is some truth to the emotional

ups and downs of this stage, that description misses something much more important: young

adolescence can be one of the most honest, insightful, and meaningful ages to work with.

It’s exactly why I love it.

Between the ages of 10-15, kids tend to show up as their most authentic selves. They haven’t

fully learned how to filter or mask who they are, or which parts of themselves they would even

want to mask. What they feel, they feel deeply. What they think, they often say out loud. There’s

a kind of openness that allows for real connection, even when they’re still figuring out how to

express it.

Oppositely, this is also a time where children are testing boundaries. They are looking to see

what they can get away with, how long they can get away with it, and how upset someone might

be if they get caught doing or saying something they shouldn’t. Working through this testing

phase, decoding the hidden meanings behind half-truths, and helping kids learn what

appropriate boundaries can be the most satisfying part of my work.

Middle school is also a time when identity starts to take shape. Kids are asking big questions,

sometimes quietly, and sometimes out loud: Who am I? Where do I fit? What matters to me?

They’re experimenting with different versions of themselves, trying things on, discarding what

doesn’t fit, and slowly building a sense of who they are. Being invited into that process as

someone who can listen, reflect, and support without judgment is something I don’t take lightly,

and in fact take great joy in.

Another thing I’ve come to deeply respect about this age group is how much they truly

understand. Middle schoolers often know more than they’re given credit for. They are

perceptive, thoughtful, and acutely aware of the world around them. They pick up on dynamics,

relationships, and emotions in ways that can surprise adults. When given the space, they are

more than capable of engaging in meaningful, insightful conversations about their experiences.

And yet, they’re still kids.

That’s part of the magic. In the same session, we might have a genuine, reflective conversation

about friendships, self-worth, or anxiety, and then shift into something creative, playful, or

completely silly. There’s a beautiful balance between depth and lightness, between growing up

and still holding onto the joy and imagination of childhood. Therapy with middle schoolers

doesn’t have to be all serious to be impactful; often, it’s the combination of play and connection

that makes the work so powerful.

Working with middle school-aged kids means showing up for people who are in the middle of

becoming. It’s messy, it’s meaningful, and it’s full of moments that are both tender and

transformative. I feel incredibly grateful to witness their honesty, support their growth, and create

a space where they can explore who they are, as they are.