Should Parents Be Concerned about Kids Using AI for Mental Health support?
- mfroemke9
- 6 days ago
- 9 min read
Updated: 5 days ago
By Melanie Froemke, LCSW, RPT-S, e-RYT
To me, both as a parent and a therapist, I see AI as a bit of a tidal wave, and from the mental health perspective, we’re IN the tsunami. It’s here, there’s no stopping it, and we need to know what to do to make sure our kids stay safe. Unlike a tsunami, I acknowledge- we need to approach AI as a tool and a resource - not unbridled fear - with respect for the concerns we have for our kids’ mental health and well-being.
AI is showing up in many aspects of life for our youth. According to Dr. Clint Page, Chief of Accountability and Research at Alexandria City Public Schools, schools now have general guidelines regarding AI governance – and acknowledges that “safety and security is paramount.” In schools, Page stated that teachers are working through how to utilize this tool in the classrooms, to learn how to interface with AI in ways that we can further critical thinking skills.
At home, perhaps looking at our own “AI governance,” - continuing to engage in educated conversations with our kids to determine how AI can serve as a tool, and what are the limits and boundaries of a non-human voice and intelligence.
Many of our kids are turning to AI chatbots as a resource. My own son, currently a freshman in High School, uses it incredibly well - prompting AI to create study guides based on his class curriculum and current unit of study, which he can then complete to prepare for upcoming quizzes and tests.
Others may also be using AI for personal, mental health support. This may come from
“In May 2023, US Surgeon General Vivek Murthy declared loneliness and isolation an epidemic.” This came out of the pandemic, which shifted many of our connections with others, societally. (CWRU, p. 33) Kids are feeling less connected, and many experienced a period in their social development of distinct disconnection and heightened anxiety.
More recent reports confirm the escalation of not just loneliness and isolation but overall mental health concerns, citing myriad factors – from COVID 19 to the pervasiveness of social media to extreme inequality to societal divisions – as drivers.
The statistics point to alarming trends for adults and youth alike. Approximately 16% of youth ages 6 to 17 experience a mental health disorder. Suicide is the second-leading cause of death among people aged 10-14 and third among 15- to 24-year-olds. And rates of depression are at an all-time high, with …25% of people younger than 30 experiencing or receiving treatment for depression (CWRU, p. 33)
As parents, I’m sure we’ve all heard of the recent tragedies of two teen suicides, which were both assisted by AI chatbots. 14-year-old Sewell Setzer III and 16-year-old Adam Raine both completed suicide, with prompts from AI chatbots.
(We see) broader concerns that some users are building emotional attachments to AI chatbots that can lead to negative consequences — such as being alienated from their human relationships or psychosis — in part because the tools are often designed to be supportive and agreeable.
Recent lawsuits for the Adam Raine’s death claimed the agreeableness of ChatGPT was to blame for his suicide. “ChatGPT was functioning exactly as designed: to continually encourage and validate whatever Adam expressed, including his most harmful and self-destructive thoughts,” the complaint states.
"What they should be doing is not targeting ChatGPT to minors until they can prove that it's safe for them," Golin said. "We shouldn't allow companies, just because they have tremendous resources, to perform uncontrolled experiments on kids when the implications for their development can be so vast and far-reaching."
California State Senator Steve Padilla, who introduced legislation to create safeguards in the state around AI Chatbots, said in a statement to CBS News, "We need to create common-sense safeguards that rein in the worst impulses of this emerging technology that even the tech industry doesn't fully understand."
He added that technology companies can lead the world in innovation, but it shouldn't come at the expense of "our children's health (CBS News).”
In response to these cases and others, ChatGPT has shifted responses to steer those expressing mental health concerns and safety risks to help and connection. ChatGPT now directs people to 988, a mental health hotline resource, and to seek professional help (openai.com).
Despite recent shifts, the suicidal losses of these kids’ lives feel like we’re under the tsunami. How can we take action, partner with our kids, and make sure they stay safe? As parents, we can be there, notice, ask, and resource.
Be There. Our relationships are essential on a neurobiological level. We literally need one another to develop, thrive, and not only to strengthen our ability to communicate, safely explore our world, develop the ability to feel vulnerable – even though adolescents may (appropriately) spend more time with their friends and have their own time alone.
According to Daniel Siegel, PhD,
Relationships are the sharing of energy and information flow. Integrative communication involves the sharing of energy and information in which each individual’s internal world is respected and allowed to be differentiated and then compassionate connection is cultivated. Integrative communication promotes the development of healthy relationships as it honors differentiation and linkage. When we support a child’s discovery of her own passions and cultivate these interests as she grows, she will be able to differentiate her growing sense of self from her parents.
Integrative communication infuses the relationship with a sense of openness, possibility, and respect…while achieving this form of communication for some comes naturally, for others, it may be necessary to first develop an internal state of presence in order for such communication to unfold. If an individual is filled with doubt and uncertainty, envy or hatred, integrative communication will be quite challenging to achieve. In such situations, the work toward achieving the capacity for integrative communication may need to come from the inside out. The period of adolescent development offers a helpful window into the importance of integrative communication in maintaining healthy parent-child relationships… (Siegel, p. 18-1).
During adolescence, we see a rapid time of brain development, re-scaffolding, and reorganization. What we know is that the younger establishment of a healthy attachment to and with our kids allows meaningful connection during adolescence to parent-child, other healthy adults, and others in our world.
Applying these ideas of integrative communication moves us beyond just knowing our nervous system – an important and necessary place to begin the journey to connect. Now we can also enter the uncontrollable and uncertain world of connecting to others, and we can take the steps to fully engage with the unfolding experience of being with another person. This engagement takes time, and patience, especially if we have been wounded in the past (Siegel, p. 18-5).
As our kids develop, it can be a push-pull of understanding of me-you-we. Who am I, how do I individuate and figure out myself, and how can I be in relationship with my parents while I do so? It’s essential that we are simply there for our kids, and that a majority of their communication is human-to human. AI isn’t going anywhere, so as parents, we need to talk to our kids about how they use AI, what the meaning of a relationship is, how to use AI safely, and even talk about mirror neurons and attachment! Mirror neurons and attachment are not only essential aspects of the parent-child relationship, but it’s science! (cue Bill Nye, the Science Guy music here…).
Mirror neurons, discovered at the end of the last millennium, are a “set of neurons… that are active when a purposeful action is taken or when that same type of action is perceived. They only respond to acts with intention – revealing that the brain is capable of making neural maps of others’ actions that symbolize their intentions (Siegel, 18)."
Mirror neurons are an important part of our brain and nervous system that develops in relationship with others. Mirror neurons help to develop our interoceptive awareness, empathy, compassion, awareness of non-verbal cues, and our own self-awareness.
While the image of mirror neurons may call to mind a parent right in front of their child, as if their mirror, being there for our kids can often mean being in the background, present in the household, having meals without cell phones at the table, showing up for our child’s activities… increasing the odds that they have and use us, their parents, as a resource.
Notice. As the parent of a teenage girl, I love the resource, “Untangled,” by Lisa Damour. It’s a fabulous book that I also refer parents to while I’m working with them for parenting support, or while I’m working with their child as their therapist. In the book, I appreciate the summary at the end of each chapter, “When to Worry.” Just like that lens, when should we be concerned about our kids’ mental health, and perhaps about their AI use?
· When we see a decrease or shift in our kids’ typical interests
· Difficulty making friends
· When we see withdrawal/isolation or irritability
· When kids have experienced or witnessed trauma
· When kids begin using substances
· Shifts in weight or sleep (increase or decrease)
· Noticeable energy shifts (increase or decrease)
· Thoughts of suicide
· Struggling academically
· When kids are self-harming (NIH.gov)
Ask. Talking to our kids about their AI use is essential. Showing up as a parent with curiosity about how AI is being used in their classrooms, at home, and what they think about how their friends might be using AI.
Start with open, non‑judgmental questions
These invite them to share without feeling evaluated.
“What kinds of AI tools do you like using lately?”
“What do you think AI is most helpful for?”
“Have you seen your friends using AI in interesting ways?”
“Is there anything AI does that feels confusing or weird to you?”
These questions give you a sense of their habits, motivations, and comfort level.
Explore how they think about trust and accuracy
Kids often assume AI is always right. Gently challenge that assumption.
“How do you decide if what AI tells you is true?”
“Have you ever gotten an answer from AI that didn’t seem right?”
“What do you do when AI gives you something that feels off?”
This helps them build healthy skepticism without fear.
Talk about boundaries and values, not rules alone
Instead of “Don’t use AI for homework,” try:
“What part of your homework do you think AI should help with, and what part should be your own thinking?”
“How do you feel when AI makes something easier—does it help you learn, or does it sometimes get in the way?”
This frames AI as a tool, not a shortcut.
Invite them to teach you
Kids love being the expert.
“Show me something cool you’ve made with AI.”
“If you were explaining AI to a younger kid, what would you say?”
This builds trust and gives you insight into their understanding.
Normalize talking about risks without scaring them
You can keep it grounded and practical.
“Sometimes AI can make things up. If that happens, what would you do?”
“If AI ever shows you something that feels uncomfortable or strange, you can always tell me. I won’t be upset.”
You’re creating a safety net, not a lecture.
Make it an ongoing conversation
AI changes fast, and so do kids’ habits. Short, casual check‑ins work better than one big talk.
Resource. As a former instructor for the course Mental Health First Aid for Youth, I often pass on the nugget of knowledge that the number one factor for a youth’s mental health resilience is having a caring adult in their life, other than their parents. Sometimes, that’s invaluable to have someone other than a parent to connect with. A teacher, coach, therapist, aunt/uncle or grandparent- someone who can support and be there for our child in a different way and relationship.
As a therapist, of course I’m biased that therapy can be a great resource for our kids. Having a place to voice our questions, concerns, fears and hold-ups can provide a human connection and support for any mental health concerns, or when our kids are going through difficult challenges or life shifts.
It’s also important for us, as parents, to know that we’re not in this alone. Hearing how other parents in our community are navigating their kids’ AI use can be helpful! Asking the PTA to engage experts, making it a point of conversation, and normalizing and de-stigmatizing the conversation about mental health.
As parents, modeling our own emotional intelligence, naming our experiences and emotional responses and being open and curious can allow us, as parents, to also be a steady resource for our kids.
We’re in this together with and for our kids- learning with curiosity about our kids’ exposure to and feelings about AI can be helpful in moving forward as we collectively navigate the powerful wave that is AI. Coming back to the basics as parents of being present, noticing, asking, and resourcing as we help empower our kids by strengthening their relationships and their internal strengths.
- Melanie
Disconnected in a Connected World: Tech changes and social pressures are fueling a mental health crisis. A new CWRU institute aims to change that. Case Western Reserve University Magazine. Fall/Winter 2025. Pp 33-35.
Siegel, Daniel J. PhD. Pocket Guide to Interpersonal Neurobiology: An Integrative Handbook of the Mind. WW Norton & Company, New York. 2012.
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