Is Your Phone Use Fueling Your Child’s Emotional Outbursts? What New Research Tells Us

By Rob Krupicka, MSW

It is common for parents I work with to worry about how much time their children spend on screens. I get it, I worry about this as well. But a growing body of research suggests the more important question for all of us may be: How much time am I (the parent) spending on screens, especially around my children? 

A 2025 study by Selak and colleagues offers a distressing picture of what happens when children see their parents distracted by smartphones. The researchers found that parental phone use during everyday family interactions, things like conversations, routines, play, and mealtimes lead to strong emotional reactions in children, including anger, sadness, frustration, and ultimately can lead to them giving up on trying to connect with their parents. These reactions, over time, were linked to lower well-being and behavioral challenges. Importantly, these negative outcomes weren’t caused directly by parent phone use. Instead, they were the result of the child feeling dismissed or deprioritized because of phone use.

These results align closely with a 2021 scoping review by Braune-Krickau et al., which examined parental smartphone use in families with young children. Across numerous observational studies, one pattern was consistent: when parents shift their attention to their phones, especially in absorbed, sustained ways, their responsiveness to their children drops precipitously. Even brief episodes of distraction disrupted the flow of parent-child communication, sometimes leading toddlers and young children to escalate negative behaviors to try and re-engage the parent.

Another widely cited study by Radesky et al. (2014) found that parents who were absorbed in their phones during meals at fast-food restaurants showed significantly less responsiveness, more negative reactions to children’s bids for attention, and more conflict during the interaction. Children, in turn, appeared to act out more intensely, as if to compete with the device for emotional connection.

From a developmental and family-systems perspective, this makes sense: young people regulate their emotions through their caregivers. Parents are the most important model for helping kids learn how to manage big feelings. When a parent is emotionally or attentively “offline,” even for a short while, their kids lose access to their most important co-regulation system. For families with children working through anxiety, depression, or learning to live with neurodiversity, co-regulation with parents is especially important. Reducing it understandably makes it a lot harder for children to build their own emotional regulation capacity. Over time, repeated breaks in responsiveness, especially during key moments of connection, can make it harder for children to calm themselves, feel secure, or organize their behavior. A parent that can co-regulate with their children is a powerful thing. Are you making the most of that valuable part of parenting?

How Can You Reduce Tech-Based Disruption

1. Create short, protected “connection windows.”

Even five minutes (more if possible) of fully present attention (no phone in hand) can meet a child’s attachment needs far more than long stretches of half-engaged time.

2. Narrate and set expectations.

If you must use your phone, tell your child: “I need to send one message. After that, I’m back with you.” Predictability rebuilds safety.

3. Notice your own triggers.

Many adults turn to their phones during stress or boredom. Simply naming that habit can help you choose differently in the moment. “I’m feeling stressed or bored right now, let’s play a game or do an activity together.”

4. Match your child’s bids for connection.

Eye contact, brief touch, and responsive listening signal: I’m here, and you matter.

Why This Matters

Children’s ability to regulate emotions develops in the context of responsive relationships. When phones repeatedly interrupt those moments, kids may appear more irritable, clingier, or more dysregulated. This isn’t because something is wrong with them. It is because something essential is missing in their life...their parent’s attention.

Being mindful of our own phone use is not about guilt, it’s about creating the emotional conditions our children need to thrive.

References

Braune-Krickau, K., Schneebeli, L., Pehlke-Milde, J., Gemperle, M., Koch, R., & von Wyl, A. (2021). Smartphones in the nursery: Parental smartphone use and parental sensitivity and responsiveness within parent–child interaction in early childhood (0–5 years): A scoping review. Infant Mental Health Journal, 42(2), 161–175. https://doi.org/10.1002/imhj.21908

Radesky, J. S., Kistin, C. J., Eisenberg, S., Gross, J., Block, G., Zuckerman, B., & Silverstein, M. (2014). Patterns of mobile device use by caregivers and children during meals in fast-food restaurants. Pediatrics, 133(4), e843–e849. https://doi.org/10.1542/peds.2013-3703

Selak, M. B., Merkaš, M., & Žulec Ivanković, A. (2025). Effects of parents’ smartphone use on children’s emotions, behavior, and subjective well-being. European Journal of Investigation in Health, Psychology and Education, 15(1), 8. https://doi.org/10.3390/ejihpe15010008