The Search for Meaning in a Distracted World

By Rob Krupicka, MSW

In nearly every stage of life, people come to therapy searching for meaning. Whether the presenting issues are depression, anxiety, substance abuse, ADHD, or something else, my experience is that meaning plays an important role in treatment. Some want to know why they feel restless or empty despite having what looks like a good life. Others wonder how to find direction after loss, retirement, situational change, or disappointment. Adolescents may not even realize this longing exists, but when they touch it, their energy and focus shift. Adults often feel too busy or distracted to ask these questions, yet meaning may be the missing thread in the fabric of their well-being.

Understandably, people often begin their search in predictable places, career success, financial stability, academic performance. These are good places to start but meaning and purpose are rarely found in the résumé line items of our lives. They live in the spaces between people: in friendship, in love, in belonging, in community, and in the sense that what we do connects us to something larger than ourselves.

Psychological research supports this. Studies in positive psychology and existential therapy show that meaning and purpose are built on coherence (understanding one’s life story), significance (feeling one’s life matters), and direction (having valued goals). People who report higher purpose experience better mental and physical health, longer lifespans, and greater resilience in the face of hardship. But purpose isn’t something we find by turning inward alone. The data as well as my therapy work experience both point to the same truth: purpose is relational. It emerges through connection and contribution.

And yet, our culture offers a thousand ways to feel connected without truly being so. For adolescents and adults alike, video games and social media can offer the illusion of belonging without the vulnerability and effort genuine relationships require. These digital spaces reward immediacy, self-comparison, and distraction rather than reflection, dialogue, and shared meaning. Over time, the brain learns to seek dopamine hits of validation or victory, replacing the slower, more sustaining satisfaction of mutual understanding. Research increasingly links heavy social media use to lower well-being, reduced empathy, and heightened anxiety. This is a challenging combination for everybody, especially teens in their formative identity forming years.

When I work with adolescents, I often see how screens become both refuge and prison. A teen who feels disconnected can lose hours in online worlds that promise mastery and status, but when the game ends or the phone is silent nothing has really changed. These technologies can stunt the essential developmental task of adolescence. They limit opportunities for testing identity through real human feedback, something we all need, even as adults. Purpose formation requires friction, mentorship, and dialogue. None of those happen in echo chambers or avatars.

Adults face a parallel struggle, though it’s masked by productivity. Social media comparison feeds dissatisfaction: career over-identification narrows meaning to professional output. This can be particularly hard during times of transition like retirement or job changes. When I sit with clients who feel aimless, it can be valuable to examine where they seek validation. To rediscover purpose, we trace backward to moments that feel most alive, a meaningful conversation, favorite memories, time outdoors, creative expression, service to others. These reflections reconnect people to intrinsic worth rather than performance metrics.

In therapy, I encourage clients to treat meaning as something co-created rather than discovered. It grows in the soil of family dinners, shared laughter, quiet empathy, and face-to-face interactions with friends. It takes root in community, whether volunteering, joining a running group, or mentoring a student. These acts build the neural and emotional scaffolding for belonging and coherence. As research in social neuroscience shows, our brains are wired for connection; isolation, even digital isolation disguised as connection, erodes both purpose and mental health.

People often expect, or hope, that meaning will arrive as a revelation. More often, it’s built through small commitments repeated over time: being kind when you could withdraw, listening when you’d rather distract, showing up when it would be easier not to, finding ways to make the people around you grateful for you. Purpose is a way of living deliberately, guided by values and relationship.

As both adolescents and adults learn, meaning doesn’t come from constant stimulation or online affirmation. It comes from slowing down enough to listen to others, to one’s own story, and to the world that quietly invites participation. In that listening, purpose begins to take shape. It isn’t something found, it is something cultivated through presence, relationship, and the courage to be fully human.